What a Frustrated Cashier Taught Me About Struggling to Sleep

Montreal has been ridiculously cold lately. Gray skies, snow falling every night — the kind of weather that makes you want to wrap yourself in a blanket and forget the outside world exists. Between frozen sidewalks and restless nights, it feels like many of us are struggling to sleep.

Last week, I had a seemingly simple task: exchange a pair of gloves for my son. The first pair was too big, the second pair just slightly smaller. Easy, right? I handed over the first pair and was due a refund on my credit card.

And then it began.

The cashier started tapping the machine — not gentle taps, but furious pounding, like the device owed her money. Click, click, bang, bang, bang. I watched in disbelief as frustration built up, her face tightening with every failed attempt. Five tries later, still nothing. She waved over the manager, muttering, “It must be broken.”

One calm hand. One quiet approach. And voilà — done in a single try.

I couldn’t help but laugh — but then it hit me. How often do we treat sleep the same way?

Sleep Struggles Are a Lot Like a Frustrated Cashier

We’ve all been there: lying in bed, tossing and turning, watching the clock tick, trying the same bedtime routine over and over — breathing exercises, counting sheep, scrolling through our phones — hoping tonight will finally “work.” And when it doesn’t? Frustration builds, anxiety spikes, and sleep feels more impossible than ever.

The truth is, forcing sleep rarely works. Sleep, like that stubborn credit card machine, responds best to curiosity and awareness rather than frustration and force.

Pause, Observe, and Tune In

What if, instead of banging at the “buttons” of our sleep, we approached it with curiosity? Slowing down, noticing patterns, and asking:

• What does my body actually need tonight?

  
  

• What does my mind crave?

  
  

• Could I notice tension instead of forcing relaxation?

  
  

• Could I experiment gently with my bedtime routine instead of repeating the same thing blindly?

  
  

Sometimes small shifts make the biggest difference. And if your mind tends to race at night, I’ve written more about how to notice and release those spinning thoughts in a previous blog: What to Do When Your Mind Won’t Stop Racing at Night. These tiny changes in awareness can be the key to reducing insomnia and creating a restful bedtime.

Listen to Your Body and Mind

Curiosity invites patience. Sleep is rarely something you can command. It’s more like a conversation than a task: you observe, adjust, experiment, and over time you notice what works.

Being curious also means listening to your preferences:

• Do you want total darkness, or a small nightlight?

  
  

• Warm blankets, or lighter ones to avoid overheating?

  
  

• Silence, or soft background noise?

  
  

Your choices matter, and tuning in to your body’s signals can quietly transform the quality of your rest.

Stop Forcing, Start Noticing

The funny thing about sleep is that frustration rarely helps. You can’t rush it, bully it, or force it to obey. The cashier pounding on the credit card machine is a perfect metaphor: keep doing the same thing over and over without awareness, and frustration only grows. Step back, pause, and approach with calm curiosity, and suddenly things start to move.

Sleep works the same way. By becoming an active participant instead of a passive bystander, by noticing what your body and mind truly need, you’re setting the stage for nights that feel restful instead of frantic. It’s about paying attention to what works, letting go of what doesn’t, and being gentle with yourself in the process.

Your Invitation Tonight

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Tonight, when you lie down, pause. Notice your body. Notice your mind. Ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?” Maybe it’s a longer wind-down. Maybe it’s deep breaths. Maybe it’s simply noticing tension and letting it be.

Sleep isn’t something to force; it’s something to invite. And when you invite it with curiosity and awareness, you create space for it to respond in its own time.

The next time you feel frustration rising in bed — tossing, turning, ticking clocks reminding you that it’s “time” to sleep — remember the cashier and the credit card machine. Pause. Observe. Be curious. See what works, what doesn’t, and what your body and mind are truly asking for.

If you’d like personalized guidance to discover what truly works for your sleep, you can book a complimentary 30-minute call here: https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min.

Sleep, like that stubborn machine, is ready to cooperate — if we’re willing to stop banging and start noticing.