I Gave My Daughter Melatonin… And I Don’t Regret It (When You’re Too Tired to Sleep)

Sunday morning, I gave my daughter melatonin.

If I’m being honest, it’s one of those decisions that, on the outside, can sound simple, but once you step into the world of sleep advice, suddenly it feels loaded. There are so many opinions about what you should or shouldn’t do. People talk about routines, timing, natural sleep, dependency… and somewhere in all of that, we can lose something very basic: The ability to just look at the situation in front of us and respond to it.

This past weekend, my daughter went up north to spend Shabbos with her class. In the days leading up, the girls were divided into groups, each one responsible for food, décor, and swag, of course, when you put a group of 17-year-old girls together, it’s not just planning it, becomes a full experience. Everyone wants to do their part well, and everything carries a certain energy and excitement.

On top of that, each girl had to speak over Shabbos. My daughter put in the effort, prepared, showed up fully, and honestly, she enjoyed it. It was meaningful for her. But what often gets overlooked in these moments is the cost. The emotional high, the stimulation, the late nights, the constant being “on”—it adds up.

By the time she walked into the house at 4 a.m. Sunday morning, she was completely exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally drained. She fell into bed, the way you do when your body has nothing left to give, and still, her mind wouldn’t quiet down.

A couple of hours later, she came out in tears—completely spent, completely overwhelmed, and unable to fall asleep.

This is the moment where a very common thought comes in—the one we tell ourselves, and often tell our kids: “If you’re that tired, you’ll sleep.”

It sounds logical. It sounds reassuring, but it’s not always true.

Because anyone who has actually been there knows, you can be deeply, painfully exhausted and still not sleep. When the body is overtired, when the mind is overstimulated, when the system hasn’t had a chance to come down from everything it just experienced, sleep doesn’t always happen so easily. In fact, sometimes the more tired you are, the harder it becomes.

So instead of holding onto that idea, I looked at what was actually happening in front of me. My daughter wasn’t resisting sleep. She wasn’t distracted. She wasn’t doing something “wrong.” She simply didn’t have the ability, in that moment, to settle herself enough to fall asleep.

She didn’t need a strategy.

She didn’t need a lesson.

She needed rest.

That’s why I gave her melatonin. Within about twenty minutes, she was asleep.

Not forced. Not knocked out. Just supported enough for her body to finally do what it had been trying to do all along.

Melatonin itself is often misunderstood. It’s not a sedative that knocks you out. It’s a hormone your body naturally produces to help regulate your sleep-wake cycle. As evening comes, melatonin rises and signals to your body that it’s time to wind down.

When that rhythm gets disrupted, like after an overstimulating, overtiring experience, taking melatonin can gently support that process and help the body shift into sleep. It doesn’t create sleep; it allows sleep to happen.

https://www.chevymermelsteinsleepcoach.org/post/finally-answers-to-your-most-common-melatonin-questions-and-frustrations

The point here isn’t really about melatonin itself. It’s about how we make decisions around sleep.

Melatonin, sleeping pills, napping, coffee, going to bed at a certain time, none of these things are inherently good or bad. They’re tools, and like any tool, what matters is how and when you use them. There are moments where structure and routine are incredibly helpful, and there are moments where the most helpful thing you can do is step back and ask yourself, “What do I actually need right now?”

My daughter didn’t have the bandwidth that morning to wind down slowly, to process her weekend, or to follow a structured plan. She was past that point. Her body was asking for something immediate, something supportive, something that would allow her to recover. By giving her what she needed in that moment, we weren’t breaking a rule, we were listening.

That applies just as much to us as it does to our kids.

We often override our own signals because we’re trying so hard to do things the “right” way. We question ourselves. We second-guess. We worry that one decision is going to throw everything off. But sleep doesn’t work that way. One thoughtful, intentional choice isn’t what creates struggle. In many cases, it’s the opposite, it’s what allows the body to reset.

Sometimes, you might feel that you need melatonin. Other times, it might even be a sleeping pill. And while that can feel uncomfortable to admit, the deeper question is: Are you making that choice from pressure and fear—or from a place of understanding and awareness of what your body is asking for?

There’s a big difference.

This isn’t about blindly taking things. It’s about being in tune with yourself. It’s about trusting your ability to assess the moment you’re in and respond to it with clarity instead of panic.

Because at the end of the day, sleep isn’t about following rules perfectly. It’s about building a relationship with your body. It’s about recognizing when you have the capacity to guide it gently, and when you need to step in and support it more directly.

That morning, my daughter needed support. Not a lecture, not a plan, not a correction.

Just support.

Once she got the rest she needed, everything settled. Her body recovered. Her system reset. Nothing was “ruined.” If anything, it was the opposite, she was able to come back to herself much faster.

That’s the takeaway.

The best sleep isn’t about doing everything right. It’s about understanding what’s happening right now, making an educated decision, and giving yourself permission to trust it.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do, for your child or for yourself, is to listen closely, respond thoughtfully, and let go of the fear of getting it wrong, and sometimes, the smartest, most restorative choice is the simplest one:

Sleep.

If You’re Struggling With Sleep…

If you find yourself constantly questioning your sleep, unsure of what to do, or feeling stuck between conflicting advice, you’re not alone. Sleep issues often run deeper than just habits, they’re connected to how we think, how we feel, and how we respond to ourselves in those difficult moments.

If you’re ready to understand your sleep on a deeper level and learn how to respond to it with more confidence and less pressure, I’d love to help.

Reach out, and let’s work through it together.https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min