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I'm a Sleep Coach. So Why Did I Take a Sleeping Pill?
Before we get into my story, I have some exciting news! I'm collaborating with Jacqueline Rose on an upcoming perimenopause and menopause workshop. Click here to learn more, and keep reading for all the details at the end!
I had a wonderful week. Really wonderful. By the time I got home, I was absolutely exhausted. We had traveled to the States for a close family wedding.
And when I say wonderful, I mean WONDERFUL. But when I say exhausting, I mean EXHAUSTING!
The wedding went until 3 in the morning. There were late nights, family, friends, probably too much coffee (and wine!), unfamiliar food, absolutely no exercise, and sleeping at the strangest hours.
I loved every minute of it!
I was sleeping, by the way. Just not at my usual times. My entire routine was all over the place. We drove home through the night and arrived back in Montreal early Sunday morning.
After a couple of sessions, I was beyond exhausted and decided to lie down for a few hours.
And guess what?
I couldn't sleep.
And Then That Little Joker Showed Up
You know that little joker in your head? The one who loves starting conversations when you least need them?
Well, he showed up.
Wait a minute.
You're THIS exhausted and you can't sleep?
Seriously?
What's going on here?
And what are you going to do tonight?
You have things to do tomorrow!
What if you can't sleep then either?
And just like that, one missed nap was turning into a whole conversation about tomorrow's disaster!
There it was.
The fear of not sleeping.
Me. A sleep coach.
Someone who talks about this every single day!
I actually had to laugh at myself.
Looking back, there were a million perfectly reasonable explanations for why I wasn't sleeping.
It was Sunday afternoon. The sun was streaming through my bedroom window. My kids were home. I had laundry piled practically to the ceiling and a list of about a bazillion things waiting for me.
Not to mention my body had absolutely no idea what time it was supposed to be doing what!
But isn't it interesting how quickly our minds jump from I can't sleep right now to Oh no, what if I can't sleep tonight?
The Fear Didn't Just Disappear
After lying there for a couple of hours, I finally got out of bed. I had things to do, and clearly the nap wasn't happening.
But that little joker? Oh, he was still there, somewhere in the back of my mind, practically laughing at me.
You think this is over? What if tonight is a disaster?
I could hear him. I just wasn't going to spend the rest of my afternoon having a conversation with him.
Later that day, I made a decision that might surprise you.
I decided to take a sleeping pill.
Yes, I'm a sleep coach.
Shocking? I know! 😂
But Here's What I Want You to Understand
This wasn't a decision I made in the middle of the night, panicking because I couldn't sleep.
I made it earlier in the day, when I was calm and thinking clearly.
I knew my body, I knew how I responded to this medication, and I knew I needed to be up and functioning at 7 the next morning.
I considered my circumstances and made a decision I felt completely comfortable with.
And once I made it, I didn't spend the rest of the evening second-guessing myself.
But taking a pill wasn't the only thing I needed.
My Body Wasn't the Only Thing That Was Exhausted
After a whole week of traveling, family, friends, excitement, and constant activity, I realized I hadn't really had a moment to process any of it.
So I had a proper dinner, took a shower, and gave myself time to wind down.
Most importantly, I gave myself time to just be. No rushing. No catching up on my bazillion things. Just some quiet time to allow everything to settle.
Then I took the sleeping pill and went to bed.
And yes, thank God, I slept beautifully!
I woke up the next morning still tired. Of course I was! You don't recover from an entire week of exhaustion in one night. But my head was clear. I was functional, and I was ready for my day.
So Why Am I Sharing This?
Because sometimes we become so attached to doing everything the "right" way that we forget to be flexible.
I'm a sleep coach who believes deeply in helping people sleep naturally. But I don't believe in rigid rules, and I certainly don't believe that using medication when appropriate means you've failed.
This was my personal, short-term decision involving medication I was already familiar with, not a recommendation for anyone else. Sleeping medication has risks and should be used with appropriate medical guidance.
What matters to me about this experience isn't simply that I took a pill and slept.
It's how I made that decision.
I wasn't allowing fear to dictate what happened next.
And that little joker in my head?
He didn't get to make the decision for me.
I did.
Because sometimes taking care of your sleep isn't about following another rule. It's about knowing when to be flexible.
Exciting News for Women in Their 40s and 50s!
I'm joining menopause coach Jacqueline Rose for a special two-part live workshop on November 11 and 18, exploring perimenopause, menopause, and sleep.
We'll be talking about why sleep can become so challenging during these years, what's happening in your body, and how to better support your sleep.
Struggling With Sleep? Let's Connect.
If you've got that little joker in your head telling you that you won't sleep tonight, that tomorrow will be a disaster, or that something must be wrong with you, let's talk.
You don't have to keep listening to him!
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