My Child Can’t Fall Asleep Without Melatonin: How One Night Can Quietly Become Ten Years

“Mommy, please can you bring me a melatonin? I can’t fall asleep.”

I actually stopped when I heard him say it.

I was at my neighbor’s house one evening, borrowing something, when I heard her son calling from his bedroom.

“Mommy, I can’t fall asleep. Can you please bring me a melatonin?”

He’s not even four. 😳

I must have looked surprised because his mother looked at me and said, “You don’t know what I go through every night.”

Then she started telling me.

Every night, she starts off determined.

I’m not giving it to him.

Tonight will be different.

She’ll have all the patience in the world. She reads him a story. She goes back when he calls her.

Once.

Twice.

Again.

Sometimes she even lies down next to him, hoping that if she stays there long enough, he’ll finally fall asleep.

She really, really tries.

But the night gets later. He’s still awake. She’s exhausted.

And eventually:

“Mommy, please. I can’t fall asleep. Can I have a melatonin?”

She says no. He asks again. He begs. And eventually, she gives it to him, the thing is, she told me, it works.

She gives it to him and he falls asleep.

“I don’t even know how we got into this habit,” she said.

And THAT was the part that stayed with me.

When a Sleep Helper Becomes Part of the Sleep Story

Somehow, somewhere along the way, this little boy has already learned something:

I can’t fall asleep on my own. I need something to make me sleep.

Mom has learned something too:

Without the melatonin, bedtime is going to be a disaster.

Neither of them sat down and decided to create those beliefs.

It just happened.

One difficult bedtime at a time.

One “just tonight” at a time.

One night when everyone was exhausted and something worked.

Suddenly, the thing that was supposed to help with sleep became part of the story around sleep.

This isn’t really a blog about whether melatonin is good or bad.

There are situations where a healthcare professional may recommend melatonin for a child, and decisions about supplements should be discussed with your child’s doctor.

What interested me that night was something different.

How quickly can “this helps me sleep” become “I can’t sleep without this”?

That belief can happen at four.

It can happen at fourteen.

And it can happen at forty-four.

“I’m REALLY Not Giving It Tonight”

As my neighbor kept talking, I noticed something else.

Every night she was making a decision.

I’m not giving it to him.

But why would that night be different?

Not because she wasn’t trying hard enough.

She was trying incredibly hard.

Not because she wasn’t patient enough.

She was giving that little boy every ounce of patience she had.

The problem wasn’t her effort.

She had a decision. But she didn’t have a plan.

She knew what she wasn’t going to do. But what was she going to do instead?

What was she going to do when the story was over and he was still awake?

What about the third time he called?

What about when it was getting late, she was exhausted, and he was begging for the one thing she knew would get him to sleep?

This is something I see around sleep all the time.

Tonight…

How many promises about sleep begin with that word?

Tonight I’ll…

We make a decision.

But a decision isn’t a plan.

Sometimes you don’t need more determination.

You need a plan.

But Here’s the Part I Haven’t Told You

I wasn’t standing in my neighbor’s house judging her.

I couldn’t.

Because I had been that mother.

I gave my own son melatonin every night for ten years.

He was seven when it started.

And the truth is, I don’t even remember how it started.

I don’t remember the first night I gave it to him. I certainly don’t remember making some big decision that this was what we were going to do for the next decade.

It just… happened.

He struggled to fall asleep.

I knew he needed to sleep.

I knew what the next morning would look like if he didn’t.

And I had something that helped.

So I gave it to him.

And then I gave it again the next night.

And somehow one night became another night.

And another.

Until it became ten years.

So when my neighbor looked at me and said, “You don’t know what I go through every night,” I actually did.

I knew exactly what she was talking about.

I Know What Those Nights Feel Like

I can happily say my son eventually came off melatonin. In fact, my own children’s struggles with sleep were one of the reasons I became so interested in sleep and eventually became a sleep coach.

And my son?

He’s one of my favorite success stories. ❤️

So if you’re a mother reading this while bedtime is an absolute STRUGGLE, I want you to know something.

I know what those evenings look like.

Your child can’t fall asleep.

They call you back again and again.

You read another story.

You bring another drink.

You lie down next to them “for five minutes,” and suddenly it’s close to midnight.

They’re finally asleep, but your entire evening is gone.

Or maybe bedtime isn’t the problem.

Maybe it’s 4 a.m. and there’s a little person knocking on your bedroom door.

Maybe they’re climbing into your bed every night.

Maybe they’re sleeping on the carpet next to you because, at this point, that’s the only way anyone in the house is getting any sleep. 🙃

And you keep thinking:

How did this become our normal?

I know those nights.

I’ve lived them.

Today, this is exactly the kind of work I do.

Not by blaming exhausted parents.

Not by simply taking away the one thing that’s getting everyone through the night.

But by looking at what’s actually happening, what your child has learned about sleep, what patterns have developed, and what needs to happen instead.

Because changing a sleep pattern takes more than saying:

Tonight will be different.

You need to know what “different” is actually going to look like.

If you’re reading this thinking, this is my child, this is my bedtime, this is my house, I’d love to talk to you.

In a complimentary clarity call, we can talk about what’s actually happening at bedtime, what your child may have learned about sleep, and what could help change the pattern.

No judgment. No pressure. Just a conversation about what’s happening and whether I can help.

You don’t have to spend the next ten years doing what I did.

Schedule a Free Sleep Consultation

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