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She Came to Me for Insomnia. She Left Understanding Herself: A Story of Bipolar II, Sleep, and Self-Awareness
- chevy mermelstein
- 19 hours ago
- 4 min read
Sometimes insomnia isn’t the diagnosis.
Sometimes it’s the clue.
When 19-year-old Malka came to me, she thought she had a sleep problem.
She was exhausted. Her energy was unpredictable, and she didn’t feel like herself anymore. She had reached a point where she had even given up her job because she didn’t feel like she could handle everything she was experiencing.
In her mind, the answer seemed simple:
“If I can just fix my sleep, everything else will fall into place.”
So that’s where we started.
Sleep.
We began working together, meeting twice a month. And slowly, over time, Malka started making progress.
It wasn’t overnight. It wasn’t a straight line.
But it was steady.
With every session, Malka became more aware of herself. She started recognizing her strengths, her challenges, and what she needed in order to move forward.
She was learning to trust herself again.
About six months into coaching, we noticed something interesting.
Malka had so much more energy.
She told me she suddenly had a bigger social life. She was spending more time with friends. She was taking on more responsibilities at her school. She felt confident, capable, and excited about life.
She felt amazing.
But there was something that stood out.
Her sleep was still a struggle.
She could be awake for hours and not feel tired.
At first, it was easy to focus on the positive changes. After all, seeing someone regain energy and confidence is something every coach hopes for.
But then things shifted.
The following week, Malka missed her appointment.
When she reached out again, she was in a very different place.
Her energy had dropped dramatically. She had given up her job again. She felt overwhelmed and couldn’t see a clear path forward.
That session became a turning point.
Instead of only looking at individual moments, I showed Malka the patterns we had been tracking over time.
The highs.
The lows.
The changes in her sleep, her energy, and her daily life, and for the first time, she could see the bigger picture.
Her sleep wasn’t just a sleep problem.
It was part of a much bigger story.
That session was emotional.
Because for Malka, seeing the patterns was not about putting a label on herself.
It was about finally understanding that what she had been experiencing had a reason.
We talked about what the next step could look like. We discussed reaching out for additional support, and Malka made one of the bravest decisions she could make.
She contacted a psychiatrist.
Before that appointment, we spent time preparing.
We talked about what she had been noticing, the changes in her energy, her sleep, her emotions, and the questions she wanted to ask.
And something that stood out to me was how different this conversation was from the young woman who first came to see me.
At the beginning, Malka felt lost.
She felt like something was wrong with her, but she didn’t know what.
Now she walked into that appointment with awareness.
She had observations.
She had questions.
She had a voice.
Not long afterward, Malka received a diagnosis of Bipolar II.
At 19 years old, hearing that is a lot to process.
But when she came back to our session after beginning treatment, I saw something that made me incredibly proud.
I didn’t see someone who had become her diagnosis.
I saw Malka.
I saw a young woman who finally had more information about herself.
I saw someone who was learning that understanding herself was not something to fear, it was something that gave her power.
She told me something I will never forget:
“Without our coaching, I don’t think I would have gotten this diagnosis. I think it would have taken me years.”
That statement stayed with me.
Not because coaching diagnosed her.
It didn’t.
I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. I do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. Those professionals are an important part of someone’s care team.
Malka has a psychiatrist. Medication has been an important part of her treatment. And she continues to receive the support she needs.
My role was different.
Coaching gave Malka the space to slow down, reflect, and understand what she was experiencing, but perhaps the most important thing it gave her was the confidence to advocate for herself.
She was able to walk into that psychiatrist appointment with a clearer understanding of what was happening, the questions she wanted to ask, and the ability to speak up for herself.
A diagnosis can feel frightening.
But sometimes a diagnosis is not a door closing.
Sometimes it is a door opening.
Because once you understand what you are dealing with, you can begin to understand what you need.
Today, Malka continues to come back to coaching. She continues to grow stronger. She continues to learn about herself and what helps her thrive.
And that, to me, is the most beautiful part of this story.
She is not Bipolar II.
She is Malka.
She is a caring teacher. She is someone with strengths, dreams, challenges, and goals.
Bipolar II is something she manages.
It is not who she is.
I believe that is a lesson many of us can take with us.
A diagnosis, a struggle, or a challenge may be part of our story.
But it does not have to become our identity.
If you are struggling with sleep and feel like something is missing, there may be more to understand about your unique sleep story. Let’s have our first conversation. It’s complimentary, and together we can explore your sleep story and what may be getting in the way of better sleep.:https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min