Sleep Anxiety: The Smell Was Still There… But I Was Finally Able to Rest

Living in Montreal, we don’t get endless weeks of warm, beautiful weather.

That is why, when those perfect summer days arrive, I try to soak up every moment.

Yesterday morning was one of those mornings.

I was sitting on my back balcony, enjoying breakfast. The sun was shining. The air was warm. Everything felt peaceful. It was one of those rare moments where you stop and think, I don’t want this moment to end.

And then suddenly…

A smell.

Not just an unpleasant smell.

A terrible smell.

The kind of smell that immediately makes you sit up and think, Something is wrong.

It smelled like a barn. Like something had died nearby.

And almost instantly, my peaceful morning disappeared.

My brain went into problem-solving mode.

“Where is this coming from?”

“Is there a dead animal somewhere?”

“Could it be under the balcony?”

“Could it be inside the storage closet?”

I called my husband, and together we started searching.

We looked everywhere.

Under the balcony.

Around the storage area.

Inside places we normally don’t even think about.

Because when our brain senses a possible problem, it wants answers.

It is very difficult to relax when you believe there is a threat nearby.

After searching everywhere, we finally opened the back door that leads into the alley.

And that’s when we realized…

The smell wasn’t coming from our home.

It wasn’t coming from our balcony.

It was coming from the alley.

Someone had taken out garbage that had clearly been sitting there for a very long time, and the entire alley smelled awful.

And this is where something interesting happened.

The smell did not disappear.

The garbage was still there.

The alley still smelled.

But suddenly, my experience of the smell changed.

I knew where it was coming from.

I knew it wasn’t something in my home.

I knew I didn’t have to keep searching.

The threat was gone.

I went back outside. I cleaned things up. I closed what needed to be closed. I made my balcony comfortable again, and I sat there for the afternoon.

I enjoyed my balcony.

I enjoyed the beautiful weather.

The smell was still slightly there…

But it no longer controlled me.

And that moment made me think about sleep.

Because this is exactly what happens for so many people struggling with sleep anxiety.

They wake up in the middle of the night, and suddenly their brain begins searching.

“Why am I awake?”

“What is wrong with me?”

“How will I function tomorrow?”

“What if I never sleep normally again?”

Just like I did on my balcony, they start looking for the source of the problem.

They search for answers.

They fight the moment.

They try to force the discomfort away.

And the more the brain believes there is a problem, the more alert and activated the nervous system becomes.

The awake moment itself becomes the “bad smell.”

But what if we approached wakefulness differently?

What if we learned that being awake in the middle of the night is uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous?

What if instead of fighting the moment, we created more comfort around it?

A calming environment.

A gentle response.

A reminder that our body knows how to sleep.

This does not mean we stop caring about sleep.

It does not mean we accept struggling forever.

It means we stop sending our brain the message that being awake is an emergency.

Because the truth is, sleep cannot be forced.

The more pressure we put on sleep, the harder it often becomes.

Sleep comes when the brain feels safe enough to let go.

Sometimes the first step toward better sleep is not trying harder to sleep.

Sometimes it is learning that you can be okay even during the moments when sleep hasn’t arrived yet.

The smell was still there.

But I was finally able to rest.

And sometimes, that is exactly where healing begins.

If you find yourself lying awake at night, caught in a cycle of racing thoughts, frustration, and fear around sleep, I would love to help you understand what is keeping your brain awake and create a path back to restful sleep.

You can schedule a complimentary 30-minute clarity session here:https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min

If you’d like to read more about why you can feel exhausted but still unable to fall asleep, you can read my previous blog here:https://www.chevymermelsteinsleepcoach.org/post/why-am-i-so-tired-but-wide-awake-in-bed