The Client Who Made Me Doubt Myself… Until She Didn’t

Sleep Coaching Success Story: How One Client Overcame Travel Insomnia and Anxiety

Last week, my phone rang — and when I saw the name on the screen, a slow, unwelcome feeling of dread crept into me.

Every coach has that client.

The one who drains you.

 The one who never seems to see any progress.

 The one who brings the fear, the “what if this never changes,” and the constant self-doubt.

 The client who leaves you wondering: 

Am I failing her? Does she even trust me? What more could I have done?

For me, that client was Chaya.

I still remember how heavy I felt before each session with her. She wasn’t being difficult on purpose — she was anxious, overwhelmed, and convinced that the next bad night would be the end of her hope. Every call, she carried her storm. And I, the coach, sometimes felt powerless in the face of it. After many of those sessions, I found myself questioning everything: What am I missing? Why isn’t this working for her?

I leaned on my own support system more than ever. I spoke to my coach, I did personal reflection, I reminded myself that coaching isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up. It’s about planting seeds.

Her Story: The Sleep Anxiety That Only Came When She Traveled

Chaya was 32, a devoted mother, and surprisingly, she didn’t have chronic insomnia. Her sleep anxiety manifested only when she traveled — especially when she went upstate in the summer or stayed somewhere overnight. At home, she slept “well enough.” Away from home, her whole system shifted.

And yet, the very thing she feared the most—insomnia—wasn’t constant. Her worst night was always the first night, but after that, things usually got better. That became our first breakthrough: this wasn’t a lifelong, every-night struggle. It was a pattern rooted in transition and anticipation.

As we talked more, another piece emerged — she was deeply attached to sharing her sleep struggles. “How will my husband know I slept badly?” she asked. That need to broadcast her fatigue wasn’t vanity or attention-seeking. It was a form of validation, of truth. But here’s the irony: the more she talked about her suffering, the more her mind believed she was in crisis. Our narrative shapes our internal world.

The Hardest Part: Accepting Awake Time

The hardest part for Chaya wasn’t traveling or unfamiliar beds — it was learning to accept that being awake wasn’t dangerous. She had built up a powerful belief that if she wasn’t asleep, something was wrong. She pressured herself every night to fall asleep immediately, and the more she tried, the more elusive sleep felt. Her thoughts felt like a river she needed to fix or reroute, but what she actually needed was to rest by the riverbank, not swim against the current. Teaching her mind and body that wakefulness is safe — that having her eyes open isn’t a failure, but part of the journey — was one of the most difficult, but most transformative, parts of her growth.

Changing Her Internal Dialogue, One Mantra at a Time

To help her navigate this mental maze, we created three personalized recordings — hypnosis-style, just for her. Each recording addressed a different layer of her fear, her self-judgment, and her beliefs about sleep.

We also worked on positive mantras, which she repeated with both skepticism and determination:

• “Sleep is natural.”

• “Everyone is born knowing how to sleep.”

• “I sleep easily and effortlessly every night.”

  
  

Over time, her nervous system began to rewire. She started viewing travel magazines without her stomach twisting in knots. She realized that lying in bed, eyes closed but thoughts quieting, is rest — enough rest. She discovered that she didn’t have to cancel plans the next day just because she’d had a rough night. She was slowly learning to live again, regardless of how the night had gone.

In short: she wasn’t “fixed.” But she was becoming more resilient — more at peace.

The Final Session… And the Silence That Followed

Our final session came just before she flew to Vienna for Pesach. She was ready. She had the tools. She felt empowered, educated, and — yes — a little nervous. We had done the deep work, but she still hoped there was a magic pill. I reminded her that coaching isn’t a fast fix. It’s a journey of transformation, not a prescription.

After that trip, though — the silence. No check-ins. No updates. Nothing.

And I’ll admit something I wrestled with: I should have followed up. I held back, though, because I was afraid. Afraid she’d say she hadn’t slept well. Afraid the tools hadn’t “stuck.” Afraid I had failed her.

Sometimes, as coaches, we don’t reach out because we’re afraid to hear the hard truth. We care too much.

When Packages End — Real Growth Begins

One of the most powerful truths I’ve learned through my work is this: when the coaching package ends, the real work often begins. During our weekly sessions, I hold her hand, guide her, teach her. But it’s after that, in the quiet of her own life — when she doesn’t have me on the other end of the line — that she learns to use the tools. She builds trust in herself. She practices the mantras. She implements the recordings. She leans into discomfort and doesn’t collapse.

In many cases, clients not only maintain their progress after our work together—they deepen it. The package isn’t the finish line. It’s the launching pad.

Then, Something Beautiful Happened: I Heard From Her Again

Last Tuesday, her number popped up on my screen.

My heart raced. I froze for a second — old fears whispering. But I’m not the same coach I was back then.

I’d done more self-work. I’d honed my intuition. I’d strengthened my belief that growth doesn’t always mean “big, obvious change.” Sometimes it’s quiet, steady, so subtle you almost don’t notice it… until you do.

I called her back.

This time, she wasn’t calling from desperation. She was calling from strength.

She told me about her summer. About going upstate. About using her tools, even when it was hard. She shared how some nights still took longer to fall asleep, but she stayed calm. She didn’t catastrophize. She showed up for her kids the next day. She didn’t let fear run her life.

Sleep was no longer the mountain she needed to conquer every night. It wasn’t the center of her world. She learned to live first, sleep when she was ready, and trust herself in the gaps.

I asked her what she needed now.

She told me: “A little chizuk.”

“Just a short review.” 

“Before I travel again, I want to remind myself of everything I’ve learned.”

That’s it. No crisis. Just care. Just strength. Just growth.

The Message Here

The real message isn’t just about Chaya.

It’s about trust. 

Trust in the coaching process.

Trust in your own capacity to change. 

Trust that the transformation doesn’t always look dramatic. 

Often, the biggest breakthroughs happen after the sessions end — when you’re left with the tools and finally learn to trust yourself.

You don’t need a magic pill. You need understanding, presence, and practices that build safety in your mind and body.

If you want to dive deeper into this struggle, I wrote about it in a previous blog: 👉 Why can’t I just sleep even when I try everything right?

If This Resonates with You: Let’s Talk

If Chaya’s journey feels familiar — if you carry the same fear, the same pressure, the same “why can’t I sleep even when I’m doing everything right?” story — I want you to know you’re not alone.

And if you’re ready to finally build tools that last, soothe your nervous system, and start trusting your body again, I invite you to take the next step.

Schedule a complimentary 30-minute call with me here: 👉 https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min

You deserve nights that feel safe.

 You deserve mornings that feel hopeful.

 You deserve to live fully — with or without perfect sleep.

Let’s build that together.