What Babysitting My Granddaughter Taught Me About Fighting Sleep

Why Forcing Sleep Fails

Yesterday started like any other day. I had carved out an afternoon for myself, no clients, no meetings, just a quiet block of time to work on a few important projects for my business. You know the kind of time you get excited about, when you can finally focus and make real progress.

Then my phone rang. My daughter’s voice came through, a little frazzled: “The babysitter canceled… would you be able to watch her for a few hours?”

I hesitated for exactly half a second before saying yes. After all, one of the perks of working for yourself is flexibility. You can show up for your family when they need you. You can adjust your day to help someone you love, and who wouldn't want to babysit an adorable baby?!

When my granddaughter arrived, she was dressed in the cutest little outfit—adorned with tiny bows and soft pastels. She looked innocent, sweet, completely harmless… but I knew better. I’ve seen this child in action. She’s adorable, yes, but she’s also a small whirlwind of energy and emotion, and for the next three hours, she would need constant attention. She cries when she’s hungry, when she’s tired, when she’s overstimulated. She naps in thirty-second bursts. She wants to play, to be held, to explore, to feel seen, and all at once.

The first half hour was a test of patience. I hadn’t mentally shifted from “work mode” to “babysitter mode.” My mind kept drifting to the projects I had planned. I was trying to hold her in one arm while typing with the other, muttering under my breath about deadlines, about my to-do list, about how I couldn’t believe I was babysitting in the middle of a productive afternoon.

She cried. I fretted. She wanted to eat. I glanced at my laptop, willing it to magically work itself. She fussed. I scrolled through my notes, trying to multi-task my way out of the reality I hadn’t embraced, and I was miserable.

Then, almost abruptly, I realized how ridiculous it all was. I was fighting reality. I was insisting that my granddaughter fit into my day, rather than letting my day fit into hers. I was holding onto my expectations like a lifeline, and it was suffocating me.

The Power of Letting Go of Sleep

So I stopped.

I put the laptop away. I took a deep breath. I shifted my attention fully to her. We went outside. We played. I watched her discover the grass, the sunlight, the world beyond my office walls. I laughed when she squealed with delight. I held her when she needed comfort. I let myself sink fully into that moment.

And just like that, the chaos softened. My frustration melted. I wasn’t trying to do two things at once anymore. I wasn’t fighting what was happening. I was present. I was enjoying it. And it was beautiful.

That afternoon was a small, perfect teaching moment, and it immediately reminded me of something I see so often with clients struggling to sleep.

When we expect a certain outcome—I need to sleep tonight—we start fighting.

We stress. We get frustrated. We knock our heads against the pillow, and the further away sleep is. Because sleep is not something we can force.

Just like I couldn’t force my granddaughter to fit into my day, I can’t force sleep to arrive on command. I can’t bargain with it, negotiate with it, or demand it to come. The harder I chase it, the more elusive it becomes.

This is where the real shift happens. Instead of insisting, instead of pushing, we can practice letting go of sleep. We can be okay in the moment. Lying in bed, eyes closed, breathing gently, simply noticing the sensations of the body, the quiet, the rhythm of our breath. We can let go of the outcome and engage with the process itself.

Here’s the magical part: the moment we stop fighting, the moment we let go, the moment we shift from “I need sleep” to “I am present with myself right now” that’s when sleep becomes possible. Not guaranteed, not forced, but possible. Because we’ve created the space for it to happen.

Practical Steps to Allow Sleep

This isn’t just a theory. It’s a practice. It’s one that can be applied beyond sleep too, whether it’s with children, with work, or with any part of life that feels overwhelming. When we fight reality, we feel drained. When we allow it, even for a moment, we find ease, clarity, and even joy.

So here’s my takeaway, and a gentle challenge to you: if you find yourself lying awake at night, overwhelmed, frustrated, fighting sleep, stop. Pause. Notice your breath. Notice your body. Allow sleep to happen on its own time. Release the expectation. Release the struggle. And notice how the shift in mindset alone can change your experience.

Let go. Engage with the process. Enjoy the moment. Sleep—like life—doesn’t respond to

force. It responds to presence.

If you need guidance or someone to walk with you through these moments—helping you cultivate ease, letting go of sleep, and allowing yourself to fall asleep naturally—reach out. https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min

There’s no shame in needing support, and the first step is always the hardest. But once you make it, you might just find, as I did yesterday with my granddaughter, that what seemed like chaos can become one of the most rewarding parts of your day.

Missed a previous blog? https://www.chevymermelsteinsleepcoach.org/post/closure-without-conclusion-finding-peace-when-life-isn-t-finished