What’s One Sleep Secret You Discovered Doesn’t Apply to You?

I sat down to a double espresso at 10 p.m.

I know. Some of you are already thinking, Are you crazy?!

But it was delicious.

It was finally quiet in my house. The kids were sleeping, nobody needed me anymore, everything I needed to do was done, and I had finally closed my phone for the day. And I was relishing the quiet and my coffee.

I'm a huge coffee drinker, and here's the part that might surprise you: Coffee does not keep me awake. I can drink a double espresso and be asleep 20 minutes later.

Now, before you start drinking espresso before bed, let me be very clear: caffeine absolutely can interfere with sleep. For many people, drinking coffee late in the day can make it harder to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get the restorative sleep they need.

But that's exactly where I want to stop for a moment.

Because somewhere along the way, a helpful sleep guideline can turn into a rigid rule. And sometimes, we become so focused on following the rule that we stop paying attention to what is actually happening in our own body.

Sleep Rules Are Guidelines, Not Laws

You've probably heard plenty of them. No coffee after 2 p.m. Don't nap. Never look at your phone before bed. Go to bed at the same time every night. Don't exercise too late. Don't eat too close to bedtime.

Many of these recommendations can be incredibly helpful. I'm not here to tell you that sleep guidelines are useless. They're not. They exist for a reason.

The problem comes when we stop asking questions.

What happens in MY body when I do this?

That's the question I want you to start asking.

Because your sleep isn't a textbook. You are a person. And your sleep is influenced by your biology, your hormones, your stress levels, your habits, your environment, your thoughts, your schedule, and so much more.

There is no one-size-fits-all formula that works perfectly for everyone.

What About That 2 p.m. Coffee Rule?

Let's go back to coffee.

Caffeine is a stimulant, and it can stay in your system for hours. If you're sensitive to caffeine, that afternoon coffee may absolutely be contributing to your nighttime wakefulness.

But not everyone responds to caffeine in exactly the same way.

I know someone who can have coffee in the evening and sleep without a problem. I also have a neighbor who tells me that if she eats coffee ice cream, she can be up all night. And I always think, How much coffee is actually in that ice cream? 😂

But the point is not whether my neighbor or I am “right.”

The point is awareness.

If you consistently notice that your afternoon coffee leaves you staring at the ceiling at midnight, that's information. If you have coffee at 5 p.m. and consistently sleep beautifully, that's information too.

Your job is not to prove that the sleep rule is wrong. Your job is to understand how that rule applies to you.

What About Napping?

Napping is another great example.

For some people, a nap can leave them feeling refreshed and ready to continue their day. For someone else, a late or lengthy nap can make bedtime much harder.

So should everyone stop napping?

Not necessarily.

Instead, start paying attention.

When you nap, how long do you sleep? What time do you nap? How do you feel afterward?

And most importantly:

What happens that night?

Maybe you discover that a 20-minute afternoon nap works beautifully for you. Maybe you discover that a two-hour nap at 5 p.m. completely destroys your nighttime sleep.

That's not failure.

That's information.

Stop Following Your Sleep on Autopilot

This is one of the biggest things I want my clients to understand.

You don't have to live your life terrified of breaking a sleep rule. Instead, become curious. Become your own sleep detective.

Start noticing patterns.

Keep track of what you eat and drink. Notice when you exercise. Notice when you nap. Notice how much time you spend on your phone. Notice what your evenings look like.

And then notice what happens when your head hits the pillow.

Are you falling asleep easily? Are you lying awake? Are you waking at 2 a.m.? Are you waking at 4 a.m. with your mind racing? Are you exhausted during the day?

Your body is constantly giving you information. Are you listening?

The Goal Isn't to Break the Rules

This is important: I'm not telling you to throw every sleep recommendation out the window.

Quite the opposite.

Start with the guidelines. They give you a place to begin.

But then observe. Test. Notice. Adjust.

If the recommendation helps you, keep it. If something doesn't seem to fit your body or your life, don't automatically assume you're doing something wrong.

Get curious.

Maybe the problem isn't that you aren't following enough rules. Maybe the problem is that you've stopped listening to yourself.

Your Sleep Is Worth Paying Attention To

That double espresso at 10 p.m. wasn't really about coffee.

It was about something much bigger.

It was about sitting in a quiet house after a long day and enjoying something I love.

And because I know my own body, I also know that coffee isn't something that keeps me awake.

That doesn't mean it will be the same for you. And that's exactly the point.

Sleep guidelines can be incredibly helpful. But they are a place to start, not a test you have to pass.

Learn the rules. Understand why they exist. Then pay attention to yourself.

If something helps you, keep it. If it doesn't, get curious about why.

Your sleep isn't a set of rules to follow perfectly. It's something to understand.

If you're following all the rules, thinking about sleep all day, doing everything you're “supposed” to do, and still not sleeping, maybe it's time to look at what's getting in the way.

Let's talk. Reach out, and let's see how we can figure out what's getting in the way of your sleep and help you get back to sleeping. Book a complimentary clarity session with me

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