Awake but Can’t Move: Jilly’s Sleep Paralysis Story

Late Thursday night, I received a voice note from Jilly. Her voice trembled, and I could hear tears just beneath her words. We usually exchange a quick message or voice note once a month — just a simple check-in to see how she’s doing. But this time, her message was different. She had just woken up from a nightmare so vivid it left her shaking, but when she tried to move or call out, she realized she couldn’t. Her eyes were open, she was aware of the bedroom around her, yet her body refused to respond.

“I thought I was dying,” she whispered through the phone, her voice breaking.

What Jilly experienced is called sleep paralysis — and although it feels terrifying, it’s actually harmless. It’s a strange state where your mind wakes up before your body does. You can see your surroundings clearly, you might even hear sounds in the room, but your body is frozen in place. Some people feel a weight on their chest or sense a presence nearby, which only adds to the fear.

For Jilly, it was the helplessness that scared her most — the panic of being awake but unable to move, unable to call for help, unable even to reassure herself that she was okay.

When we spoke, I explained what had actually happened. Sleep paralysis occurs when the normal process of REM sleep doesn’t align perfectly with wakefulness. During REM, our muscles “switch off” to stop us from acting out our dreams. Sometimes, especially when we’re exhausted, stressed, or anxious, the mind wakes up before the body finishes this process. The result is a momentary “lock” — fully aware but unable to move.

Episodes like Jilly’s usually last just a few seconds, sometimes up to two minutes, but fear makes them feel much longer. Jilly described being trapped in a dream she couldn’t escape from, seeing the familiar furniture in her room, hearing the quiet hum of the city outside — yet feeling completely frozen. Her heart raced, her body shook, and when it was finally over, she was left completely drained.

One of the first things I reassured her was that having sleep paralysis doesn’t mean it’s going to happen every night. It’s often a one-off episode, triggered by stress, exhaustion, or an irregular sleep schedule. Just knowing that brought her some relief — she could go to bed without dreading a repeat.

Then we worked on what to do if it happens again. One of the most powerful strategies was creating a simple mental mantra. I told Jilly that when sleep paralysis happens, to keep telling herself, “I am safe. This will pass. I am okay.” Even if her body can’t move, her mind can send powerful signals of calm. She started practicing this, and the next time it happened, she repeated those words over and over until the episode passed. That small change shifted everything — she no longer felt trapped, but in control.

We also focused on preventing future episodes. Jilly began keeping a steady sleep schedule, going to bed and waking up around the same time each day. She added small, calming rituals before bed — a few deep breaths, gentle stretches, sometimes journaling about her day to let go of built-up tension. These routines helped her nervous system understand: It’s safe to rest.

Sleep paralysis can’t always be predicted, but understanding it changes everything. It’s more likely to happen when sleep is disrupted — after a string of late nights, stress, or emotional overload. But the solution doesn’t lie in fear; it lies in balance. Giving your body consistent rest, calming the mind before bed, and gently grounding yourself when it happens are all steps toward peace.

Even when an episode occurs, it’s usually brief. Focusing on small movements — like trying to wiggle a finger or toe — or taking slow, steady breaths helps the body reconnect. The most important thing is to remind yourself: This will pass. I am safe. That mindset shifts the entire experience from terror to trust.

For Jilly, the biggest transformation was realizing that her body wasn’t turning against her — it was just sending a message that she needed to slow down and restore balance. Instead of fearing every night, she began to approach sleep with curiosity, compassion, and calm. Over time, her episodes became shorter, less intense, and eventually stopped altogether.

Sleep paralysis can feel overwhelming, but it’s manageable. And it’s just one example of the many sleep challenges people face — from insomnia and night waking to racing thoughts, anxiety at bedtime, or waking up still feeling tired. The good news? You can change that. You can train your body to trust the sleep process again.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in your own body at night, struggled to fall asleep, or wake up exhausted no matter what you try, you’re not alone. I now work with clients both in-house in Montreal and virtually on Zoom, helping people navigate all kinds of sleep struggles with a calm, compassionate approach. Together, we can uncover what’s standing in the way of your rest and help you finally sleep the way your body was designed to. You can book a complimentary session here. https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min

And if you’d like to read more about the process of healing your sleep and finding patience in the journey, check out my blog: Why Healing Isn’t a Race: The Sleep Coaching Journey You Live.