Can I Heal From Insomnia? Why You Don’t Have to Like the Struggle to Recover

I met with Esty last night for session number six.

Things are getting real now — the kind of real where truth and emotion start to meet.

At the beginning of our work together, Esty was exhausted, frustrated, and running out of hope. Like so many people who’ve battled long nights, she believed there were only two possible outcomes to this nightmare:

1) I’d have a magic potion or lightbulb moment that would finally “fix” her.

2)Or, she’d have to accept that she would never sleep again.

She told me once, her voice breaking, “I just don’t think I can live like this forever. If this is my life now, I can’t handle it.”

And I get it — because when you’ve been awake night after night, running on fumes, “acceptance” can sound like giving up.

But that’s the shift we’ve been working on.

And last night, I saw it — that subtle, quiet moment when the body softens, the face relaxes, and something inside begins to trust again.

What Acceptance Really Means

Most people think accepting insomnia means being okay with not sleeping.

But that’s not it. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in.

It means being okay with the struggle itself.

You don’t have to like being awake. You don’t have to smile through it or pretend it’s fine.

But when you stop fighting it — when you stop making it wrong — something powerful happens: the fear starts to fade.

Fear feeds insomnia. It tells the brain, “This is dangerous! Do something!”

So the brain does what it knows best — it stays alert. It watches for danger. It keeps you awake.

That’s how insomnia becomes self-perpetuating — not because your body forgot how to sleep, but because your mind is terrified of not sleeping.

Two Things Can Be True

I often tell my clients:

Two things can be true at the same time.

You can hate this process and still be healing through it.

You can feel anxious and still be safe.

You can feel awake and still be resting.

When we begin to allow both truths to exist, something shifts.

We don’t have to choose between “I’m okay” or “I’m miserable.”

We can say: “I’m uncomfortable, but I’m still okay.”

That’s what happened with Esty.

She said, “I still don’t like being awake, Chevy. But it doesn’t scare me like it used to.”

And in that moment, I knew — she was halfway through recovery.

Because when the fear softens, the brain receives a new message:

“This isn’t dangerous. I’m safe, even when I’m awake.”

That’s how healing begins. Not with liking it.

Not with control.

But with allowing it to be — and realizing that even in discomfort, you’re already healing.

A New Way of Being

If you force yourself to “accept” just to get sleep, it becomes another form of control.

You’re still in the same fight — just wearing different clothes.

Real healing isn’t a technique. It’s a new way of being.

It’s the willingness to sit with what is — the wakefulness, the thoughts, the emotions — and know that they’ll pass.

Because they always do.

No thought, no feeling, no night lasts forever.

And when you learn that you can coexist with wakefulness — that you don’t have to love it, but you can survive it — your nervous system begins to trust life again.

You Don’t Have to Like It to Heal

Healing isn’t about pretending the struggle is beautiful.

It’s about knowing that it’s temporary — and that it doesn’t define you.

So if you’re in that space where you’re tired of being tired, where the word “acceptance” makes your stomach turn, take a breath. You don’t have to like this. You don’t have to make peace with every hard moment.

You just have to be open — open to the possibility that your body can remember how to sleep when it no longer feels the need to protect you.

You can hate this journey and still be healing.

You can feel lost and still be moving in the right direction.

You can be awake and still be okay.

Two things can be true.

And sometimes, that’s where the deepest healing begins.

If you’d like help navigating your own sleep recovery journey, I invite you to book a complimentary 30-minute call with me — we’ll talk about where you’re stuck and what might help you move forward:

👉 Book your free session here.

And if you missed my recent post on the 4 stages of insomnia and how to move forward, you can catch up here:

👉 Why Can’t I Sleep? The 4 Stages of Insomnia and How to Move Forward.