I Tried Everything for My Sleep and Nothing Works — Here’s Why

Raizy sat across from me, exhausted and hopeless. She’s 72 years old, and she hasn’t slept in three months. That’s not a typo — three months. Her words came out heavy:

 “It’s not working. Why isn’t it working? I don’t feel anything.”

Her brain was fried, her body worn down, and her heart filled with doubt. She didn’t believe anything could help her anymore.

And yet, here’s the thing about sleep: the more we demand it, the more it slips away.

The Trap of “Did It Work?”

When you’re desperate for sleep, it’s natural to grab onto anything that promises relief — a new supplement, a relaxation exercise, hypnosis, a nighttime routine. But here’s the mistake almost every poor sleeper makes: they measure everything by whether it knocked them out that night.

Raizy was doing exactly this. I suggested magnesium. The next morning she texted me: “I took it and nothing happened.” I gave her a calming hypnosis recording. She couldn’t get through the first paragraph without interrupting: “But I’m not feeling anything. Why isn’t it working?” Even when her husband invited her for a walk on a gorgeous day, she refused because “it won’t help me sleep.”

Do you see the pattern? Every action was tied to one question: Did it make me sleep? That kind of pressure is unbearable. And it guarantees failure, because no single thing — not a pill, not a walk, not even hypnosis — will magically reset your sleep overnight.

Shifting the Mindset

The truth is, sleep comes back gradually. It’s a process of calming your nervous system, rebuilding your body’s rhythms, and creating safety around rest. When everything you do is loaded with the expectation “this better knock me out tonight”, your stress skyrockets — and sleep runs even further away.

So what’s the alternative? It’s learning to do things for their own benefit, not just as a test for sleep.

Here are the mantras I gave Raizy (and that I share with all my clients):

“I’ll listen to hypnosis because it soothes me and supports my sleep recovery.”

“I’ll take magnesium because it may support my body over time.”

“I’ll go for a walk because it’s a beautiful day and movement nourishes me.”

Do you feel the difference? Instead of pressure, there’s space. Instead of demand, there’s support.

Why Pressure Backfires

Sleep is a passive process. You can’t force it, control it, or muscle it into happening. The harder you try, the more alert and anxious you become.

Think about it: you don’t wake up in the morning and say, “Okay, heart, you’d better beat 72 times a minute today. Let’s make it happen!” Your heart does its thing naturally. Sleep is the same way. It’s a rhythm your body already knows.

The problem is never that your body forgot how to sleep. The problem is the pressure, the fear, and the constant measuring.

The Smallest Homework

That’s why I gave Raizy the simplest homework: “Just listen to the recording from start to finish. Don’t stop. Don’t turn it off. Don’t judge it. Just let it play.”

Her job wasn’t to fall asleep. It wasn’t even to feel calm. It was simply to allow her brain a chance to be soothed without her inner critic barging in every 30 seconds.

And this is a big lesson for anyone who feels stuck in a dark tunnel with sleep: sometimes the first step isn’t sleeping. It’s simply practicing being with something calming — without demanding results right away.

Healing Is a Process

I get it. When you’ve been awake for months, you don’t want to hear about patience. You want sleep tonight. You want relief now. And yet, real healing doesn’t work that way.

Every small action — listening to hypnosis, stepping outside for fresh air, taking a supplement, creating a wind-down routine — is a brick in the foundation of recovery. None of them may “work” in isolation. But together, over time, they rebuild trust in your body’s ability to rest.

And here’s the beautiful part: once you stop demanding instant results, you create the very conditions that allow sleep to return naturally.

Takeaway

If you’re caught in the cycle of measuring everything by “Did it make me sleep last night?”, take a breath. Step back. Choose a new mantra:

“I do this to soothe my body.”

“I do this to support my healing.”

“I do this because it nourishes me.”

Let sleep come as a side effect, not as the test for every action.

Your body knows how to sleep. Sometimes, you just need to stop getting in its way.

And if you feel like Raizy — that you’ve tried everything and nothing works — then I might be your next best step. Book a complimentary call here: https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min.

You can also check out Kayla’s story, where she came off strong sleeping pills after a decade of feeling misdiagnosed and misled.