My Last Few Nights… Raw and Honest!

So here is the truth!

The last few weeks I’ve had bad nights. Not every night, but a few a week. And here is how I know I won’t go down a deep dark tunnel: I know it’s just a few weeks.

Some nights I fall asleep right away—20 to 30 minutes. Funny how we think the minute you hit the pillow you must sleep. Not true. Even for me, a sleep coach, sometimes it takes a bit. I know all about sleep hygiene. I’ve read hundreds of books, studied countless articles, and coached clients through every kind of sleep challenge you can imagine. I’ve learned about routines, darkness, temperature, supplements, mindfulness, and more. And yet, even with all that knowledge, I still have nights where sleep feels elusive. That’s the honest truth—experience and knowledge don’t make you immune to human moments.

Lately I’ve been waking up at 3 a.m. And yes, it can feel long. And yes, it can feel frustrating. But this blog is more for me than anyone else—it doesn’t mean anything drastic is going on!

I see how much progress I’ve made in my sleep journey. I’m perfectly fine lying in bed. Clocks are covered—that’s a huge trick. Zero pressure. Sometimes I think, how will I manage tomorrow?

But I always do.

Self-compassion has been the hardest lesson I’ve had to learn. Probably the hardest. Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean giving up or doing nothing. It means letting go. Letting go of the pressure to do every single thing today. Some things can wait. And notice—I didn’t say tomorrow. I can do them another day, on my own terms, without guilt or stress. Self-compassion is about recognizing your limits, giving yourself permission to rest, and understanding that pacing yourself doesn’t mean failure. It means respecting yourself and your journey. Learning this has been challenging, but it has also been incredibly freeing.

So curious what I did at 3 a.m.?

It’s a shocker. I was hungry.

Yes. I know all about sleep hygiene.

I’ve read hundreds of books, studied countless articles, and coached clients through every kind of sleep challenge you can imagine. I know the rules: don’t eat late, keep your room dark, avoid sugar, follow strict routines. And yet, here I was, hungry, doing something completely against the “rules.” I got my bowl of ice cream and took it to the window.

I watched the trucks clear the snow in Montreal. Fascinating—the patterns, the quiet, the hum of the machines. And the best part? I didn’t have to share my ice cream with anyone. Just me, the house, and the night.

The lesson? Nothing catastrophic happens when you let go of the pressure. You don’t have to follow all the rules perfectly. Sometimes, honoring your human needs—like eating when hungry—teaches your mind and body that everything is okay. That, in itself, can make it easier to drift back to sleep.

And here’s the funny thing: I actually don’t know what time I fell back asleep. I covered the clocks, only checked once, and then let it go.

Drifted off. Didn’t read. Didn’t scroll. Didn’t stress. Just lay there. Perfectly fine.

Sometimes I notice the quiet of the house, the hum of the heater, the snow outside. The silence feels oddly peaceful—the kind of silence that makes you feel like you’re the only person awake in the world.

So here’s the honest truth:

Tired this morning? Yes.

Functioning? Yes.

Want to sleep through the night? Sure.

But it’s fine. Everyone has a bad night. Or bad nights. No panic. No pressure.

Could be because I’ve been busy recently.

Could be because I haven’t been out since Monday—snow hasn’t stopped. Amazon is great. Delivery guy knows me by name.

Could be that I went to bed before I was really tired.

Could be that my room was too hot.

Could be stress, thoughts bouncing in my head.

Could be hormones.

Could be the moon.

Could be that ice cream needed to happen.

Could be that my brain was just too busy.

But does it really matter?

Sometimes bad nights remind me I can tolerate temporary discomfort. That I don’t need to force sleep. That my body knows what to do. That ice cream can be a midnight hero. Sleep isn’t about perfection. It’s about patience, resilience, and self-compassion.

Sometimes a bad night is a little teacher. Sometimes it feels annoying. Sometimes it feels funny. Sometimes it feels quiet. Sometimes it feels long. But it always passes. And that’s okay.

Sometimes I think about how much I’ve learned on my own journey—about letting go of pressure, about covering clocks, about noticing without judgment. I remind myself I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to be present. And that’s enough.

If you’ve had a night like this, you’re not alone. I’ve written before about a simple trick that can help you fall back asleep faster—check it out here: Can’t Sleep? This Simple Trick Could Help You Fall Back Asleep Faster.

And if you want a little extra support for your sleep journey, you can book a free 30-minute session with me here: https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min.

Sleep will come. Sometimes quietly. Sometimes with ice cream. Sometimes with a little self-compassion. Sometimes it comes faster than you expect. Sometimes slower. Either way, it’s all part of the journey.

Remember: a bad night doesn’t define you. It doesn’t undo progress. It’s just one night. Maybe a few nights. And that’s okay. You can still function. You can still live. You can still thrive. You can still enjoy ice cream. And most importantly, you can still wake up and remind yourself—sleep is part of the journey, not a measurement of success.

Sometimes the next night will be better. Sometimes it won’t. And that’s part of life. Part of learning. Part of sleep. The key is noticing, accepting, and moving forward. Letting go

of pressure. Giving yourself permission to rest, even if imperfectly.

Because the truth is: even bad nights are okay.

They teach us resilience. They remind us of patience. They remind us of ourselves.