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Part 2: Why It Can Take Two Weeks (or More) to Process Big Life Events
- chevy mermelstein
- Nov 27
- 3 min read
If you missed Part 1 — my personal behind-the-scenes story of surviving my son’s wedding chaos — check it out here:
You survived the chaos. You checked all the boxes. You made it through the whirlwind. But your brain? It’s still buzzing.
Why? Because your nervous system hasn’t caught up yet.
And here’s the part that surprises almost everyone: sleep disruption doesn’t always happen right away. Sometimes your nights stay calm for weeks — and then, out of nowhere, your brain decides it’s time to revolt.
Sleep Can Show Up Late — Weeks After the Event
This is one of the most eye-opening things for my clients — and honestly, for me too. Something major happens, you survive it, everything seems fine… and then sleep goes sideways.
Here’s the kicker: it can go both ways.
Some people experience insomnia — lying awake, heart racing, mind spinning. Others oversleep — sleeping deeply, missing alarms, and still feeling exhausted.
Some real examples:
A new mom sleeps okay for the first six weeks after giving birth. Then, suddenly, insomnia hits — racing thoughts, heart pounding, restless nights. Hormones, emotions, and her nervous system are catching up all at once.
A teenager at summer camp sleeps fine at first. Halfway through, sleep disappears: anxious, restless, exhausted — even though nothing “bad” happened.
My new couple recently shared that both partners couldn’t get out of bed — sleeping constantly, missing alarms, still feeling drained. Their nervous systems were processing months of stress all at once, but their brains responded differently than most: instead of racing at night, they were oversleeping.
Clients grieving a loss or death may initially function fine, thinking, “I’m okay, I’m handling this.” Weeks later, sleep starts slipping away — or suddenly becomes unusually heavy — as the full weight of emotions, memories, and reality finally hits.
Clients often say:
"I thought the first thing to get affected would be my sleep. I slept fine immediately after. And now, weeks or even months later… I can’t sleep — or I can’t stop sleeping!"
Why This Happens
When sleep shows up late, here’s what’s going on:
Cortisol is still high – your body is replaying stressful moments, keeping you alert, making it hard to switch off.
REM sleep cycles get disrupted – this is where your brain processes emotions. If you’re still stressed, dreams may be vivid, or you may wake in the middle of the night.
Your nervous system is on high alert – your body still feels like it’s in the middle of the event. Heart racing, muscles tense, mind spinning.
All of this explains why sleep can suddenly become chaotic weeks after the “big moment” seems over. And it’s also why oversleeping happens: your body is still recovering, still processing, just in a different rhythm.
Does Age Matter?
Not really in a predictable way.
Younger people might tend toward either extreme — racing thoughts or excessive sleep.
Older adults sometimes experience the same — fragmented sleep, insomnia, or oversleeping.
The truth: everyone reacts differently, depending on their nervous system, emotional style, and the intensity of the event.
Why This Matters
Understanding this delayed pattern is huge. It explains why:
New parents suddenly experience insomnia or oversleeping weeks after the baby arrives.
Teenagers can sleep fine at first, then crash halfway through camp or a big event.
Emotional events like losses or weddings can trigger insomnia or excessive sleep weeks later.
Delayed sleep disruption is normal. It’s not a sign that something is wrong. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s supposed to do — catching up, processing, and finally helping your body restore balance.
If your mind won’t stop racing, or you’re suddenly sleeping too much, weeks after a major event, you don’t have to navigate it alone. I help clients understand why this happens and guide their nervous systems back to deep, restorative rest.
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