The Truth About Sleep Restriction Therapy: My Aunt’s Battle with Insomnia

If you’ve ever spent the night staring at the ceiling, you know the hopeless feeling that creeps in with every passing hour. But for my aunt, insomnia wasn’t a bad week or a rough month — it became her life.

She had tried everything: acupuncture, magnesium, guided meditation, herbal teas, breathing exercises, and the “never fails” tips from friends. She refused to take sleeping pills—except on the occasional Sunday night when she would “treat herself” so she could start the week feeling human.

I remember visiting her one evening at 7 pm and finding her already in bed. It’s a common mistake many insomniacs make: the less they sleep, the more time they spend in bed, thinking that surely it will help. In reality, it often makes insomnia worse.

Even though she was still incredibly busy — working full-time and teaching night classes — thoughts about her sleep crept into her mind all day. She was desperate for relief.

And before she even knew what the term meant, she was catastrophizing. If she had a bad night, she’d already be planning the fallout before her head hit the pillow the next evening: “If I don’t sleep tonight, tomorrow’s meeting will be a disaster. I won’t function. I’ll probably get sick. How am I supposed to survive the week?” The spiral was automatic. She didn’t need anyone to explain to her that catastrophizing fuels insomnia — she was living proof.

The Magazine Article That Changed Everything

One weekend, she read an article about sleep restriction therapy — a technique where you limit your time in bed to the actual number of hours you’re sleeping, then slowly increase it. It sounded extreme, but she was intrigued. The article mentioned that the goal was to increase sleep efficiency (the percentage of time in bed spent asleep) and train the body to sleep more deeply.

She didn’t try to calculate it herself. Instead, she signed up for a 10-week online program where you plugged in your numbers, and they gave you your weekly sleep schedule. Every week, she dreaded the new assignment.

The Harsh Reality of Sleep Restriction

When she started, her sleep efficiency was about 12%. Her first assigned bedtime? 3 am. That meant that even if she got into bed at 3 and still couldn’t sleep, she had to get out of bed anyway. And no matter what, she had to be up by 7 am.

It was absolute torture.

One of the hardest parts was figuring out what to do until 3 am. After work, she had another ten hours to fill before bedtime. And she wasn’t allowed to nap — ever.

To make matters worse, there was no support. She was doing this night after night, in silence, with no one to talk to who understood. To this day, she says it’s one of the hardest things she has ever done in her life.

Each week, she entered her sleep log, and the program inched her bedtime earlier — from 3:00 to 2:45, then 2:25, and eventually to 12:30 am. Little by little, her sleep efficiency improved.

What She Learned

By the end of the 10 weeks, she considered herself about 75% “cured.” She was in a much better place and finally had some control over her nights.

She also walked away with three valuable strategies:

1. No napping. Even on the most exhausting days, she stayed awake until bedtime.

2. Go to bed when you’re really tired. Not just because the clock says it’s bedtime.

3. It’s okay if it takes time to fall asleep. This last one she figured out on her own. She realized that all the pressure she was putting on herself to sleep was actually backfiring. The more we need to sleep, the harder it becomes.

And in true “my aunt” fashion, once she saw progress, she started reading everything she could get her hands on about sleep. She educated herself, experimented, and paid attention to what worked for her.

The Missing Piece

Sleep restriction worked — but it didn’t address why she was struggling in the first place.

Months later, she asked me if there was “anything new” out there for insomnia. I told her the same thing I tell my clients: sleep restriction is a tool, but it’s not the whole picture. If the root cause isn’t addressed — whether it’s anxiety, life transitions, health issues, or unresolved emotional stress — the insomnia can resurface.

My aunt was ready to try hypnosis. She felt that was the last missing piece to finally letting go.

When we worked together, we began uncovering the deeper fears and subconscious beliefs that had kept her mind racing night after night. Once she addressed those, she could finally relax into her nights without the “I must sleep” panic.

Why This Matters for You

If you’re dealing with chronic insomnia, sleep restriction can be powerful. It retrains your brain and body to connect the bed with sleep, not tossing and turning. But it’s not magic. Without understanding and addressing the why behind your insomnia, you may find yourself back where you started.

My aunt’s story is proof that real progress is possible — even after years of sleepless nights. But it’s also a reminder that sleep is about more than schedules. It’s about mindset, emotional health, and knowing that you don’t have to fight this battle alone.

If you’ve been stuck in the insomnia loop and want to explore the root causes in your own life, let’s talk. You can book a complimentary call with me here: 

https://calendly.com/chevymermelstein/30min