Why Does Depression Cause Lack of Sleep? One Woman’s Cry for Help

She was crying on the phone. Not the kind of crying where someone is just tearing up — this was the cry of someone who had been holding too much for too long. You could hear it in her breath before she even spoke. The kind of breath that comes in shallow gasps because exhaustion has taken over.

Her voice shook. “I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered. “I haven’t slept in months. I can’t eat, I can’t shower, I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I feel like I’m disappearing.”

It was raw. Heartbreaking. The type of call where you can feel the weight pressing through the phone.

She’s 55 years old, and depression has been part of her life for as long as she can remember. She’s seen doctors, taken medication after medication, endured side effect after side effect — and nothing really changed. Now, on top of all that, she hasn’t slept. And when you don’t sleep, everything feels heavier, darker, and more unbearable.

She said to me, “The depression always comes first… and then the insomnia starts. If I could just sleep, my whole life would feel more tolerable.”

That line hit me. Because it was so true. Why does depression cause lack of sleep? Because without rest, your brain and body simply can’t fight back. 

Why Does Depression Cause Lack of Sleep?

Here’s something I’ve seen over and over again: whether it’s depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, or epilepsy — the very first thing that unravels is sleep.

Depression disrupts the natural balance of brain chemistry. Melatonin (the sleep hormone) doesn’t flow the way it should. Cortisol (the stress hormone) can surge at the wrong times, keeping you wired at night and flat in the morning. Serotonin, which helps regulate both mood and sleep, often dips too low.

On top of that, depression fills your mind with racing thoughts, hopelessness, and heaviness. You can’t switch off. You lie awake in the dark, body exhausted but brain unable to let go. This is why depression and insomnia are so tightly linked — and why one makes the other worse. 

My First Step With Her

I’ll be honest: as a sleep coach, this might sound completely crazy. But my first recommendation wasn’t a bedtime routine or a strategy or a breathing exercise. She was far too depleted to process any of that. She could barely function.

So I told her: go back to your doctor and ask for something stronger, at least for now.

Yes, a sleeping pill. Not forever. Not as a long-term fix. But sometimes, before we can even start the real work, we need to get to a place where we’re simply able to start.

The Second Step: Hypnosis

The next thing I recommended was hypnosis. And here’s why: hypnosis doesn’t require her to do anything. She doesn’t have to think, practice, analyze, or even try. All she has to do is listen.

I created a recording just for her — soft, soothing, calming. Something she can play at night without pressure. Something that will speak directly to her subconscious mind and give her a sense of relief, even if just for a little while.

Where She Is Right Now

This woman isn’t just tired. She’s in a very dark place. She told me she can’t shower. She can’t make herself food. She’s overwhelmed, stuck, and sinking. And the insomnia only makes the hole feel deeper.

That’s why my job right now isn’t to overwhelm her with “fixes.” My job is to give her a little bit of breathing room — a place to rest her mind and body enough so she can begin to heal.

You’re Not Alone

Over the years, I’ve worked with clients who live with depression, bipolar disorder, and epilepsy. One thing I’ve noticed again and again: when mental health flares up, sleep is often one of the very first things to go. And when sleep goes, everything else feels ten times harder.

If that’s you — if you’re struggling with your mental health and you’ve noticed that your nights are falling apart — please know that you don’t have to figure this out alone.

I’d love to talk. You can book a complimentary call with me here: Book a 30-minute call 

Or, if you’d like to learn more right now, check out my blog on the 4 stages of insomnia.

A Glimmer of Hope

It won’t happen all at once. Sleep won’t magically return tonight, and depression won’t suddenly lift. But even one night of rest, even a small moment of calm, is progress.

With every hour of sleep restored, she’ll regain a little strength. With every moment of relief, her mind will have space to breathe. And that’s when the real work — the healing, the tools, the coping strategies — can begin.

If you’re reading this and thinking, maybe this is me, know that small steps matter. You don’t have to do it all today. You don’t have to “fix” everything at once. The first step is simple: rest enough to begin again.

Sometimes, healing starts in the dark — with one quiet night, one gentle recording, one moment of care for yourself. And from that, slowly, a path forward emerges.