Why Is Change So Hard? Take Back Sleep

“Can’t you just give me something else to try?”

That was the text Dina sent me just three days after our first session together.

Dina, a 45-year-old mom and graphic designer, had been struggling with sleep for years. When I met her, she was running half her life from her bed. Laptop open, phone in hand, kids’ homework spread across the blanket — her bed wasn’t just for rest, it was for everything.

She told herself that simply being in bed would somehow make her less tired. But instead, it made her nights longer, harder, and lonelier.

So one of the first steps we worked on was sleep hygiene. I asked her to move her bedtime later. Not 8:30 p.m., but 10 or even 11.

She laughed at first, but she understood why. An adult needs 7–9 hours of sleep, not 15 hours in bed. She agreed, started a sleep log, and left our session feeling hopeful.

Then reality hit.

The Moment Change Feels Impossible

Three days in, her sleep log showed chaos. She was exhausted, frustrated, and panicking.

She messaged me:

 “This isn’t working. I can’t do this. Please, just give me another idea.”

And here’s the thing: I’ve heard this countless times before. It’s not that Dina couldn’t do it. It’s that she was running into the uncomfortable truth about change.

Change feels harder before it feels easier. Always.

Why Change Is So Hard (and Why We Resist It)

Here’s a staggering fact: 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. Not because people are weak, but because the brain craves the familiar.

Neuroscience shows that forming a new habit takes an average of 66 days. Sixty-six days of practice, of patience, of sitting in discomfort before something starts to feel natural.

When you’ve been living life one way for years — like spending every evening camped out in bed — your brain has wired itself to expect it. Even if that pattern isn’t working, it feels safe. It feels easier to stay stuck.

That’s why Dina’s text was so powerful. It wasn’t proof she was failing. It was proof she was changing.

Why We Start With the Basics

Sometimes clients ask me for hypnosis, advanced strategies, or other tools. And yes — those can all help. But here’s the truth: every single tool I could give you would still require change.

Whether it’s adding in a new practice, shifting a routine, or trying a strategy, it’s always something your brain has to adjust to. And change, as we’ve said, is hard.

That’s why I always start with sleep hygiene. It’s the foundation. If you’re not using your bed only for sleep, if you’re giving yourself way too much time in bed, or if you’re stuck in patterns that make sleep harder, nothing else will stick.

Dina needed to start with the basics. Not because it was easy — but because it was necessary.

Consistency Is the Special Sauce

Anyone can make a change once. The magic is in doing it again, and again, until it becomes automatic.

Think about exercise: the first workout leaves you sore and cranky. The second feels just as bad. But by the tenth? The soreness fades, the strength builds, and suddenly you can’t imagine not moving your body.

Sleep works the same way. Adjusting bedtime, tracking your sleep, creating a healthier rhythm — none of it feels natural at first. But with consistency, your body catches up.

Dina’s panic wasn’t a sign to quit. It was an invitation to keep going.

The Hard Now or the Hard Forever

Here’s the choice I see in almost every client:

You can stay in the hard you already know — lying awake, chasing hacks, hoping for a miracle.

Or you can face the difficulty of change — the discomfort, the trial and error, the sticking with it until your body relearns what it always knew: how to sleep.

Both are hard. But only one moves you forward.

Where Dina Is Today

Dina is still experimenting with her evenings and figuring out what works for her, but she’s showing up, keeping her sleep log, and proving that change, while hard, is absolutely possible. Her progress reminds us all that the first steps are often the hardest — and the most important.

Final Thought

If you’ve ever wanted to give up after a few nights of trying something new — you’re not alone. That’s exactly where transformation begins.

Remember: change is hard. But staying stuck is harder.

Have you ever felt like you were doing everything right, only to feel worse? What if the discomfort you’re feeling right now isn’t failure at all — but the very beginning of change?

Here’s what I want you to know: you’re not broken. You’re not doomed to sleepless nights forever. You’re simply standing at the starting line of change.

And since we’re heading into Rosh Hashana, I can’t think of a more fitting time to reflect. This is the season when we naturally pause, look back at where we’ve been, and look ahead to where we want to go. What patterns do you want to leave behind? What new rhythms do you want to bring with you into the new year?

Maybe it’s about your sleep. Maybe it’s about your kids’ sleep. Maybe it’s about your health or your energy. Whatever it is, the message is the same: real change will feel hard at first. But it’s also the only way forward.

And if you’ve made it all the way to the end of this blog, that probably means you’ve struggled with sleep at some point (or you’re just a very loyal reader — and in that case, thank you!). Why not take the first step today? Book a complimentary 30-minute call with me here, and together we’ll create a blueprint for what your sleep could look like.

👉 Want more insights? Check out my post on how insomnia really starts.